Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
