i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
