why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Mom said you looked used
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
