whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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