I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
