JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
