There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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