Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize