so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
