I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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