We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
