if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
