just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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