We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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