Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
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