I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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