Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
