Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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