yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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