just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
