Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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