we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
