You made me cry and you don't even care
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
