remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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