Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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