i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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