Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Hippo gnu deer
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
