When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
