Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
