Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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