super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
