We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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