i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
