if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
