Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
