how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
