I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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