When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
