I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
