so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
