Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
