Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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