a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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