KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
