SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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