ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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