The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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