I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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