Someone shit on the floor
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
