i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Redeem this text for a blowjob
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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