yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
