The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
please come you make the beer taste better
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
