we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
