Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I FOUND THE LEGS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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