I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You have to summon your inner elephant
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
