I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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