Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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