well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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