Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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