umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
