he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
