After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
