Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
