does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
