Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
