my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had to cum in my sink.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
