Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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