You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
