You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There r osticjed everywhere
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
