I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
