With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
