Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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